Do you ever get the feeling that you could be so much more then what you are? That if you got up off your lazy ass and strive for something, you could excel? I do all the time. I know I could be so much more then I am, but my mind is my limitation. Sorry excuse I know, but it's a valid one. Most everyone has his or her excuses. (Except for austronaughts, doctors, and Michael Kuss...that weather guy from A-channel...he's cool.) Another thing is I feel more attractive then what I am. I look in the mirror and see this...this face looking at me that I don't know. It's not me. I don't see this face when I dream, I mean I do but it's viewed through different eyes. I don't know how to explain. I know I'm not ugly, I mean I have had PLENTY of Girlfriends (is that a bad thing?) but I can't see what they saw in my outerness. How could something be physically attracted to me, they must have had other motives. Funny thing is somedays I got this super ego on me. The whole "Fuck I'm hot, baby use me for my looks!" Wonder why it changes day to day. Just from writing that last sentence, I think I have come up with a good question...(which I'll have to think of later.) Alright, my eyes hurt, I'm tired, I've lost 4 pints of blood today (no I didn't) so I think I'll go to bed. The codeine is taking effect, I can't feel the left side of my face and my right butt check is numb.
Feels good, gonna enjoy the trip in bed, while listening to a burn I got off my man Nathan. (Cool shit on it) Like whoa. Night all and remember if you find I talk about sex too much it's ok. If you were hungry you'd talk about food right? Peace.
10:14 p.m. - 2001-04-28
Recent entries:
An Athiests Prayer - 2010-11-22
An apple on a tree - 2010-11-07
At work and bored. - 2010-02-08
Faces - 2009-10-17
Time for a rebirth - 2009-10-16
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