Hey all. I've heard some news that a few of my readers are concerned about what I'm writing. They're concerned about my mental health, what I'm thinking, etc. Well, I'm here to tell you DON'T READ INTO IT SO MUCH! I do this as an escape from reality. This is my way to express myself. Of course I'm going to have morbid thoughts, and so will everyone in the world. Only difference is I express them. I'd be more concerned for the people who do not express their feelings or thoughts. When feelings are bottled up, it only takes a little time for the bottle to explode. A bottle that has a hole in the top will vent slowly, but leave the bottle intact and not disturbing it's surroundings, unlike the bottle that explodes. Ugh, I don't do this for attention, I do this to vent. Please people understand. If I were considering suicide (which I most likely never will) I'd say it straight out. I'm not one to beat around the bush about anything. I'll say it and be up in your face about anything I feel. So all I can say now is RELAX! Anyways, I'm working different hours now. 11pm till 6 am 5 days a week except Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Moneys good, hours are shit. So long social life! It's only for a month and a week, so it's not a forever thing. I figure I'll do this, not go out at all, stop spending money, make some hard cash, join the fucking military and leave my parents without telling them. Heck it's a great plan in my mind, just wonder if I'll follow through. I'm chicken shit that way. It's just I have no drive for anything right now and my parents are pushing me to do something with my life. How can I get started when I don't know where I want to begin! Is it that hard to understand? It's not like I'm mooching off them, I work full time, 40 hours a week. I do my part, I'm not sitting on the couch watching sports and eating chips all day. I figure, if I join the military, I can be away from my rents for 8 months or longer, and hell, even be posted in a new province. We'll I prolly wouldn't. All my friends and family are here. So, be gone for 8 months or a year. Get my school paid for, Make a shit load of cash while going to school, and be independent. I only have to sign on for 3 to 5 years, and after that if I found my "calling" I could take whatever I want and become what ever I want. Only thing is, with the military, what trade do I want? Fuck, wouldn't mind being an assassin though. I have moral flexabilities. hmmn...A man can dream. So, I have a plan, actually I have multiple. Thing is will I use any of them. Fuck I wouldn't mind. Maybe I should just say, "FUCK IT! I'll just do it cause I can, not care about what anyone else thinks, and just try something new instead of doing shity ass work, sucking up to people I don't respect to get a 15 cent raise, and being bored out of my skull." Heck, I'll be learning, I'll be making money, and I'll be helping out my career. Wonder what military work looks like on a resume? I'm actually gonna print this page off and give it to my friends and ask them what they think. Can't hurt to get others opinions. Now if I choose to listen to them or accept them are two totally different things. hmmmn. Well, it was a good vent, and I think it was very beneficial to read what I am thinking. Well, l8ers all. Respond or comment if ya wish, always accepted. Peace
2:25 p.m. - 2001-05-24
Recent entries:
An Athiests Prayer - 2010-11-22
An apple on a tree - 2010-11-07
At work and bored. - 2010-02-08
Faces - 2009-10-17
Time for a rebirth - 2009-10-16
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