Why do we usually not get what we want? What is stopping us from reaching out and taking what we desire, or doing what we are thinking about?
An example: Girl A and Boy B are on a blind date, they hit it off, the night is ending, he walks her to her door, they share an awkward moment and then turn their separate ways kicking themselves as they part. Now why didn't that kiss happen? Fear of rejection you say. Well, you're wrong.
Saying you have a fear of rejection is like saying you have a fear of heights, when in actuality you have a fear of falling.
The kiss did not happen because of the direct fear of rejection, it happened because both Girl A and Boy B were trying to prove something. During that awkward moment, both were proving to each other that they aren't easy, that they don't give up the goods at the drop of a dime. proving to the other that they are not dirt or whore-ish. The kiss would have been inevitable if one had cracked, it would have happened, and a lot of people don't really see that. Most often, a person has a direct inclination of animalistic "passion" that drives them to copulation. Kissing is just the first step of an ultimate goal, but a necessary step none the less.
So what is my point you may ask? Well it is this. We all have something to prove, and our audience is the entire world. I have something to prove to my family, my friends, females in general, and everyone who walks by me or looks my way. I deny this to the bitter end, and even though it is not intentional it is still none the less true.
When we try to prove things to others, failure seems to be nibbling at our heels. This is a barrier between us and our desires, and without this barrier is the way I wish to live.
I will try to live this way, but it will not be an instant change, first I have to start to recognize when I am indeed trying to prove to someone something that I do not need to prove to them. Then, once I have recognized this, I can start to fix it.
It's something new that has crossed my mind, and in theory it sounds swell, so I'll work towards it and let you know if it's a good thing to do or not to do. Who knows, maybe it's important to prove things to others that seem un-necessary. Maybe it is vital we do so.
I need to prove to myself that I have no need to prove anything to anyone else.
11:33 p.m. - 2004-12-09
Recent entries:
An Athiests Prayer - 2010-11-22
An apple on a tree - 2010-11-07
At work and bored. - 2010-02-08
Faces - 2009-10-17
Time for a rebirth - 2009-10-16
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