I am born, I begin to sense the physical world around me, and this is an entirely new experience to me. Energy unfolds inside me, my soul is growing and needs a larger host, and this is why my body grows. I live and experience every day as it is my first, and it truly is just that. Years pass without number, new moments are added to my life with every passing day.
I am now in junior high school, and I am getting beat up every day. I take an attempt at my life for the pain seems unbearable. I continue on with my life still dealing with the ramifications of my childhood experiences.
I am now twenty years old. I continue to live and experience. I have finished all my school and have gotten a fantastic job that pays well beyond six-digits a year. I am content.
I am now twenty-seven. I have married the one I love, and plan to spend my entire life with this one person, I love her dearly.
I am now thirty nine, and my father and mother have just died. I live with torment, I feel pain, I am in anguish over this lose. My wife who is now thirty seven and my child who is now ten years old try to console me. In result of these current events, I take another look at life and the transphysical realm that surrounds me, I am now enlightened.
I am now fifty two, my child is getting married, and I am also retiring. This is a great time in my life.
I am now sixty nine years old and my wife, my life, my darling and my bride dies of cancer. It has been an ongoing painful battle that unfortunately I knew we�d never win. They say that when you die, your whole life flashes in front of your eyes, I wonder what she saw.
I am now seventy eight years old, and I have a beautiful grandchild who is getting married as well. I try to take pleasure in this, but it seems hard without the love of my wife to accompany it.
I am now eighty two years old, and a life time of emotion is starting to overwhelm me. I decide to go for a walk to clear my head. As I am walking, my mind occupying all of my attention, I stumble into the middle of the road. I look to my side and see a truck coming towards me, it is too close to get out of the way.
The truck seems to stop an inch away from my body, but yet it hasn�t. They say that your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. I can tell you this, it does not just flash, but is re-lived entirely. Every moment that you had experience once before, that moment is being experienced all over again, without the understanding that it has happened once before. I wonder now, that this moment I am living right now, no longer as the person in my story, but in the person telling it, has already been lived. I wonder if I am actually eighty two years old, and a second away from being hit by a truck. And this life I am living right now, the feeling of this keyboard on my finger tips, the smell of cigarette smoke emanating from my clothing, has already happened once before, and that this life that I am living right now, has already been lived before.
They say that your entire life will flash before your eyes before you die, but I think that my life is flashing before my eyes, and I am already dead.
11:51 p.m. - 2002-06-23
Recent entries:
An Athiests Prayer - 2010-11-22
An apple on a tree - 2010-11-07
At work and bored. - 2010-02-08
Faces - 2009-10-17
Time for a rebirth - 2009-10-16
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