Fear of want, no doubt, makes every living creature greedy and avaricious - but only man develops these qualities out of pride, pride which glories in putting down others by a superfluous display of possesion. But this kind of vice has no place whatever in my way of life. My brothers and my sisters, you are my equals no matter what society says.
(Time for a new topic)
It's time for me to stop chasing what i have been so fiercly in the past. i see now that this goal is attanable, but do I (if i capture it) really want it. We were good together in the past, but would we be good together in the now? Maybe I just want another moment in the past with her, the way things were when we were both happy. Would it be fair to her and myself, if i continued on this quest, and triumphed, only to find out not only did i destroy what she had with someone else, and that she was not my goal at all.
I believe now that my goal is actually to find happiness with someone else. I have travelled down the wrong path, and now i must head back. I can no longer lead this girl on, i can no longer ask for what i do not want. I believe this will remidy a multitude of things. I regret to say that i haven't given any girl who liked me a decent chance, or gave myself a chance to like them the way that i liked her in the past. I believe this is going to be a new begining. A new start, a new chapter to the story which is my life.
I feel sorry for what i have to do next. I have to tell this girl that my feelings to her are no more, and that i have moved on. I will miss her, but i know that it will be benifical to me in the future. I must look after number one, and i am number one. She will not understand, she will be upset and never speak to me again, but i have a new prize to catch, a new jorney, a search for someone who will make me as happy as she once had. I believe i have found the one i will strive for, but we will see what happens in the next month or so, in this time i will make no decisions, but let what needs to happen, happen, and to let what/who needs to present it/her self, present it/her self. Should be interesting.
Stay tuned.
3:54 p.m. - 2002-04-09
Recent entries:
An Athiests Prayer - 2010-11-22
An apple on a tree - 2010-11-07
At work and bored. - 2010-02-08
Faces - 2009-10-17
Time for a rebirth - 2009-10-16
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